A Few Kind Words

  ….I see three of my closest friends in one day and all 3 of them ask if we can see each other more! Today was a great day! I met up with a friend to go do a thing, then visited another friend after and went for a little drink, then coming out of Tesco bumped into another bestie! Talk about luck!  I consider myself so lucky to have the real friends that I have. The kind of friends where you always know what’s going on with each other even if you don’t see each other. The kind that you instantly feel the love from before even hugging!  I have such an emotional attachment with these friends that it’s overwhelming sometimes! I never want to finish hugging them!  Today has been therapeutic and relaxing! Tomorrow I look forward to spending time with my little family!

The last two months have been a rollercoaster. The loss of my Grandad, my other Grandparents moving into a home so they can be looked after properly (they both have dementia), the funeral, the poem, the visits. I still find myself having emotional moments no matter where I am. I spend a lot of time thinking about how time could be spent enjoying it more. I’ve made a promise to myself to simplify things more, not take on so much like I did. To spend as much time as I can with my kids whilst they want to spend time with me. I can’t help but think how sucky it is that I can’t take them to school and pick them up each day. I would love to be able to do that. But I have to work full time to keep earning what I’m earning so we can enjoy our free time together more and not stress about buying treats when we want them. I’ve decided to stop doing my cakes for other people and only do them for family. This means I no longer have to worry about evenings being taken up making and decorating, no wo

Last week was hard.  Last week I had to say goodbye to my Grandad.  My whole life I’ve been fortunate enough to say that both sets of my grandparents were alive. Until last week. My Grandad has been in and out of hospital for the last 20 years. It started with a heart attack all those years ago. He’s had numerous different things that have taken him in there. Two weeks ago he went in with a chest infection. Last Monday he decided himself that he wanted to stop the medication. Last Monday he told me how proud he was of us all and I told him how proud of him we were and that we all loved him so very, very much. By the time the evening came around he could no longer speak and was out for the count with the medication he was on.  I was so very lucky to be able to say my goodbyes to him. So many people don’t get that opportunity. Myself and my Dad stayed with him over night to make sure someone was with him. At 6.30 on Tuesday morning we went home to freshen up and get some rest. After havi

As a parent, there are many things I want for my kids, I want them to be happy, I want them to grow up and do something they enjoy doing and feel the huge sense of satisfaction in what they choose. I want them to feel that no matter what age, they can come to me and tell me their highs and lows. Tonight, after being told my grandad had been taken into hospital today because of a bad chest infection, that this time it was serious. Now I didn’t mean for this to slip out, but whilst being told this and after a couple of responses of ‘you always say that’ and the look and words of ‘yeah, but this time it is’, I accidentally said ‘yeah, but you always do this’! What I was meant to say was ‘you always say this’, but I fucked up with my words. The response to that was ‘ok, I won’t tell you anymore then’. Always a great response from a parent. What I really wanted to say was ‘well you do and you know what, I can’t take it as well as what you actually think and I really struggle each time I’m t