A Few Kind Words

As a parent, there are many things I want for my kids, I want them to be happy, I want them to grow up and do something they enjoy doing and feel the huge sense of satisfaction in what they choose. I want them to feel that no matter what age, they can come to me and tell me their highs and lows. Tonight, after being told my grandad had been taken into hospital today because of a bad chest infection, that this time it was serious. Now I didn’t mean for this to slip out, but whilst being told this and after a couple of responses of ‘you always say that’ and the look and words of ‘yeah, but this time it is’, I accidentally said ‘yeah, but you always do this’! What I was meant to say was ‘you always say this’, but I fucked up with my words. The response to that was ‘ok, I won’t tell you anymore then’. Always a great response from a parent. What I really wanted to say was ‘well you do and you know what, I can’t take it as well as what you actually think and I really struggle each time I’m t

So, today, I faced a massive hurdle because of anxiety. I have a website I started 2 years ago for my cakes, which I intended to work on and build. I have been waiting for the renewal to come up so that I could cancel it, which was meant to happen in June, however, last week it renewed. I knew I had a certain amount of days to ring them to cancel it so that I wasn’t paying for another 2 years. As I’m working from home today I told myself that I had to get it done now or else I wouldn’t do it. I’ve just phoned the company and from the moment I picked up the phone to ring them, until about a minute getting off the phone from them, I was shaking the whole time. Truth be told I still am a little. I’ve never really liked talking on the phone to people, but since menopause decided to join in the life journey, it’s gotten worse. Today has been the worst I’ve ever had. But I done it! I’ve cancelled the website, I’ve stopped the payments that I’ve been paying for 2 years for something I’ve done

Your husband goes away for work and all that runs through your head is someone attempting to break in and how you’d react to it! Clearly I have an overactive imagination. I’m happy to report I’ve just woken up after the first night of him being away and all is fine. I didn’t have to use my torch to knock a robber unconscious to protect my family.  Both kids have slept well, which is an added bonus as one hasn’t been very well. Also, usually, when one of us goes away, one of the kids ends up in our bed, which I don’t mind, it’s cute that they want to keep us company. I did walk into our bedroom last night after sorting stuff out, to find one of their teddies waiting on the bed. I savour the morning time when I get up, as usually I get a good 45 mins where everyone else in the house is sleeping, I listen to how calm and quiet it all is before the chaos erupts with the repeated remarks of ‘come on guys, let’s get moving’ and the ‘go get yourselves ready for school’, which start off calm a

This weekend was meant to be a weekend where I didn’t have to work the Saturday night doing the cricket club bar that I manage. It was meant to be a weekend where, for the first time ever, as a family, we sat down and had a little Eurovision party. We were getting food in, the kids were going to stay up and watch Eurovision and someone else was going to do the bar. Friday evening was so chilled. We watched my boy whilst he took part in his training for cricket (which he started a couple weekends ago). He was awesome! It was a beautiful evening, the Sun was out and we walked around the pitch with an ice cold drink, watching all the young players learning different techniques. We looked at the new pitch which is being worked on and admired how great it was looking. Saturday morning we woke with a plan to tidy the house a little, sort my daughters bedroom which resembled a bomb site. I’d pop to the club to introduce a new team member to the bar who was working the afternoon shift then I’d

Today is the day I decided that now is as good a time as any for a change! So, assuming my hair doesn’t melt in the strand test, in just over a months time I will go back to having some blonde highlights, with a root smudge and hopefully a couple interesting colours.  It’s a common theme with me to change the colour of my hair. I get to a point and decide I’m bored, then I search for endless hours on Pinterest or Instagram for inspiration. Last night I found ‘THE’ picture of the hair I want and I knew that was going to be my next experiment. I contacted my hairdresser and tonight, went to see her so she could take a strand of my hair to bleach tomorrow. I’m really hoping it doesn’t go badly. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow when she shows me a picture of the results. Fingers crossed!

This year has already changed my perspective on a number of areas in my life. The whole ‘less stress, more fun’ goal has meant really thinking about what it is we are doing as a family to appreciate the time we have together. The 2 areas for stress that I was experiencing came from money and work. The first we have been fortunate enough to sort. The second, being work, I assume a lot of people would probably agree with being theirs as well. Work can be a breeding ground for stress. It can be because of the workload, the unrealistic targets, or purely some of the morons you have to deal with whilst trying to make enough money to pay for your life. It’s so easy to get stressed at work.  I’m someone that thinks a lot about everything,    so inevitably my thoughts turned to how I could reduce this work stress. Having changed jobs in August 2021, I can safely say I will never be as stressed in this role as I was in my previous one, thank god! This job (sometimes) presents a different kind o

It’s always the way, you write a post about how good things are, then later that night you end up hyperventilating! Typical! The thing is, I know that reaction was because I’ve started a new pack of HRT tablets and each time I change the type of tablet (there’s two different ones in the packs I have), it fucks with my emotions a little…and today it sent me into hyperventilation mode! Oh well, new day tomorrow!

After the last couple of years and experiencing an international pandemic, home schooling children (which I’ll be honest, never thought I’d do, but actually learnt a lot more than I did at my kids ages), spending 24 hours a day with my kids and husband for a period of 3 months, going back to working in the office, changing jobs unexpectedly and having more responsibility then I envisioned having, I came to the realisation that I am in such a great place right now! Like many people, in 2020 adapting to what was happening around the world was new. We were told to stay inside, only go out for an hours exercise, don’t see anyone else that wasn’t already in your household, to change our way of living to save lives.  In that time I learnt just how amazing my kids were with school work, what they did and didn’t enjoy doing, what they maybe struggled with but didn’t tell us about. They really surprised me! I know ‘the virus’ wasn’t brilliant to have around, but it gave me and my husband a glim

Today is the day I decided to start blogging. Why, I hear literally no one scream!…..thanks for asking……because I have such beautiful content to put out there in the world that I felt blessing the world with it is my duty!   Only joking, it’s more like I’m having a midlife crisis and thought instead of having all this crap in my head, I’d burden the world with the random thoughts I sometimes have, that way it might feel like someone, at some point, is listen to me! Who am I? Great question! I, like literally millions of other people on this beautiful earth, am a granddaughter, daughter, wife, mother, friend and I like to hope, nice person (most of the time). I pay my bills on time….usually. I do that shop where you go in for 5 things and come out with over the weekly budgeted amount. I talk to myself, a lot! I recently had the realisation that I can have a whole conversation in my head, get out everything I want to say to someone, without actually saying it! Who knew the internal voice