The last two months have been a rollercoaster. The loss of my Grandad, my other Grandparents moving into a home so they can be looked after properly (they both have dementia), the funeral, the poem, the visits.
I still find myself having emotional moments no matter where I am. I spend a lot of time thinking about how time could be spent enjoying it more. I’ve made a promise to myself to simplify things more, not take on so much like I did. To spend as much time as I can with my kids whilst they want to spend time with me.
I can’t help but think how sucky it is that I can’t take them to school and pick them up each day. I would love to be able to do that. But I have to work full time to keep earning what I’m earning so we can enjoy our free time together more and not stress about buying treats when we want them.
I’ve decided to stop doing my cakes for other people and only do them for family. This means I no longer have to worry about evenings being taken up making and decorating, no worrying about if I have enough icing/cake boards/ribbon. And being honest with myself, I’m sure I always spent more on a cake than what I charged for!
No more lending friends money or putting things on credit cards for them to pay us back over the year. Someone recently said in conversation when talking about a situation they were in that you shouldn’t lend money, you should gift it if you are going to do it, that way there’s no expectations for repayments. That stuck with me. That completely made sense and I so don’t know why I never thought of it that way. I will be going by that from now on, but my family comes first. If we can’t afford it, we won’t be doing it.
Silver lining of recent events: I’m focussing more on me and my little family, I’m thinking clearer on what matters, I’m learning to not feel guilty about refusing situations that won’t make ME happy !
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