A Few Kind Words

Last week was hard.  Last week I had to say goodbye to my Grandad.  My whole life I’ve been fortunate enough to say that both sets of my grandparents were alive. Until last week. My Grandad has been in and out of hospital for the last 20 years. It started with a heart attack all those years ago. He’s had numerous different things that have taken him in there. Two weeks ago he went in with a chest infection. Last Monday he decided himself that he wanted to stop the medication. Last Monday he told me how proud he was of us all and I told him how proud of him we were and that we all loved him so very, very much. By the time the evening came around he could no longer speak and was out for the count with the medication he was on.  I was so very lucky to be able to say my goodbyes to him. So many people don’t get that opportunity. Myself and my Dad stayed with him over night to make sure someone was with him. At 6.30 on Tuesday morning we went home to freshen up and get some re...

As a parent, there are many things I want for my kids, I want them to be happy, I want them to grow up and do something they enjoy doing and feel the huge sense of satisfaction in what they choose. I want them to feel that no matter what age, they can come to me and tell me their highs and lows. Tonight, after being told my grandad had been taken into hospital today because of a bad chest infection, that this time it was serious. Now I didn’t mean for this to slip out, but whilst being told this and after a couple of responses of ‘you always say that’ and the look and words of ‘yeah, but this time it is’, I accidentally said ‘yeah, but you always do this’! What I was meant to say was ‘you always say this’, but I fucked up with my words. The response to that was ‘ok, I won’t tell you anymore then’. Always a great response from a parent. What I really wanted to say was ‘well you do and you know what, I can’t take it as well as what you actually think and I really struggle each time I’m t...

So, today, I faced a massive hurdle because of anxiety. I have a website I started 2 years ago for my cakes, which I intended to work on and build. I have been waiting for the renewal to come up so that I could cancel it, which was meant to happen in June, however, last week it renewed. I knew I had a certain amount of days to ring them to cancel it so that I wasn’t paying for another 2 years. As I’m working from home today I told myself that I had to get it done now or else I wouldn’t do it. I’ve just phoned the company and from the moment I picked up the phone to ring them, until about a minute getting off the phone from them, I was shaking the whole time. Truth be told I still am a little. I’ve never really liked talking on the phone to people, but since menopause decided to join in the life journey, it’s gotten worse. Today has been the worst I’ve ever had. But I done it! I’ve cancelled the website, I’ve stopped the payments that I’ve been paying for 2 years for something I’ve done...

Your husband goes away for work and all that runs through your head is someone attempting to break in and how you’d react to it! Clearly I have an overactive imagination. I’m happy to report I’ve just woken up after the first night of him being away and all is fine. I didn’t have to use my torch to knock a robber unconscious to protect my family.  Both kids have slept well, which is an added bonus as one hasn’t been very well. Also, usually, when one of us goes away, one of the kids ends up in our bed, which I don’t mind, it’s cute that they want to keep us company. I did walk into our bedroom last night after sorting stuff out, to find one of their teddies waiting on the bed. I savour the morning time when I get up, as usually I get a good 45 mins where everyone else in the house is sleeping, I listen to how calm and quiet it all is before the chaos erupts with the repeated remarks of ‘come on guys, let’s get moving’ and the ‘go get yourselves ready for school’, which start off ca...

This weekend was meant to be a weekend where I didn’t have to work the Saturday night doing the cricket club bar that I manage. It was meant to be a weekend where, for the first time ever, as a family, we sat down and had a little Eurovision party. We were getting food in, the kids were going to stay up and watch Eurovision and someone else was going to do the bar. Friday evening was so chilled. We watched my boy whilst he took part in his training for cricket (which he started a couple weekends ago). He was awesome! It was a beautiful evening, the Sun was out and we walked around the pitch with an ice cold drink, watching all the young players learning different techniques. We looked at the new pitch which is being worked on and admired how great it was looking. Saturday morning we woke with a plan to tidy the house a little, sort my daughters bedroom which resembled a bomb site. I’d pop to the club to introduce a new team member to the bar who was working the afternoon shift then I’d...